Chapter 10

“You know what I’m tired of?”

“I’ve a feeling you’re going to tell me.”

“I’m sick and tired of hearing about how people got a free copy of a book from the author?  Why the heck are they getting free stuff?  What is the world coming to?”

“It is a terrible thing.”

“I know it’s not a terrible thing, but why the heck didn’t I get born under the tree of free stuff?”

“Well, we all get free stuff sometimes.  The mail carrier keeps bringing you those free catalogues.”

“Everyone gets those.”

“That’s exactly my point.”


No, this must be what going mad feels like


Here is a useful quote from a website I just found.  I keep thinking I’m going crazy, but this piece of writing explains that I am in fact, probably, just stressed!  Isn’t that good?  It’s fascinating, so I thought I’d share it with you.

“Why does anxiety make us feel like we’re about to go crazy?

Behaving in an apprehensive manner (worry, fretting, being afraid something bad will happen, and so on) activates the body’s stress response. The stress response causes a number of changes in the body to prepare it for immediate emergency action – to either fight or flee.

A part of the stress response changes involve changing how the brain functions. For example, the stress response causes the amygdala (the fear center of the brain) to become more active and the cortex (the rationalization areas of the brain) to become suppressed. This change in brain function can heighten the perception of danger and reduce our ability to rationalize.

The stress response causes this change so that we are aware of and able react to danger quickly rather than taking time to process information, which could endanger our survival. Remember, the stress response is designed to protect us when we’re in real danger. It’s primary job is to get us out of danger as quickly as possible.

Due to the change in brain functioning when the stress response is active, we can experience a heightened sense of danger but have a more difficult time rationalizing. Sometimes this change is enough to make us think we are about to lose our minds and go crazy. This is especially true the more anxious we are.

Fortunately, when the stress response ends, the body slowly makes its way back to normal functioning, which means the cortex resumes its normal functioning and the amygdala’s activity diminishes. This reversal reduces the perception of danger and allows us to think more clearly. This reversal usually brings an end to feeling like you are about to go crazy or lose your mind.

Another cause of feeling like you are about to lose your mind is persistently elevated stress. Persistently elevated stress also causes stress response changes, including those that affect how the brain functions. The difference, however, is that persistently elevated stress doesn’t ease off quickly. So, the feeling that you are about to go crazy or lose your mind can linger and seem to occur for no apparent reason.

Because this feeling can linger and seem to occur for no reason, it may seem like it is being caused by a medical or mental health problem. If you are a worrier, you then might misconstrue this symptom to mean there really is something wrong with your brain and/or mind, which can set off a high degree stress response that compounds the issue.

Believing you are about to lose your mind is a common catalyst to a panic attack, where the fear of losing your mind and the changes the stress response make fuel each other.

But even though the fear of going crazy can be frightening, it’s not an indication of a problem with your brain, mind, or sanity. It’s just another indication that your body is experiencing a stress response and/or of a body that’s overly stressed.

People who have been under a lot of stress often experience this symptom.”

That’s from http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms/fear-of-going-crazy.shtml and I found it very helpful.  It’s difficult to know what to do with stress, taking deep breaths is good.  Eating Moo Free is also good, listening to music, going for a walk.


Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

She felt like, if she could just get the chance to get it all together, it would all be all right.  And probably it would.  Right?  It was already, really.  We are all just muffins on a tray, stars in the sky, drips on a leaf, leaves on a tree.  We are as coincidental and inconsequential as anything and everything else in the universe.  And yes, everything is not only inconsequential, but vitally important too, but it is all ultimately of no matter.  If you change one thing, everything else changes, but then it all changes back again, because the string of dominoes ends up back where it started.  So everything changes, but nothing changes.

It was really too early to be discussing things of this complexion.  She really needed a pick-me-up, but there was nothing in the house, and her teeth didn’t feel right.  What ever that means, of course.   What ever.  It didn’t matter.  She went into the kitchen and made herself a coffee.  She hated coffee, and it was probably the reason her teeth felt the way they did, but still, it was an anchor and a crutch for all her idols on the television shows, and she had an inherent right to copy them whenever it felt appropriate.

She felt exhausted by the stream of her own thoughts, so she put the tv on, hoping it would drown out the sound of them.  10890996_694987200618934_1871490524_n

Ha ha ha

I forgot!  😀

My advent calendar posting schedule runs of at the 8th of December! 😀

I got distracted 🙂

So, I’ll try to do better:

Number 9:























Twenty one:


Twenty two:


Twenty three:

African-american Black African Barbie Model Doll

Twenty four!


Twenty five!


Merry belated Christmas everyone!  Yay! 😀

African-american Barbie Doll Face African Black