Tag Archives: feelings

No, this must be what going mad feels like


Here is a useful quote from a website I just found.  I keep thinking I’m going crazy, but this piece of writing explains that I am in fact, probably, just stressed!  Isn’t that good?  It’s fascinating, so I thought I’d share it with you.

“Why does anxiety make us feel like we’re about to go crazy?

Behaving in an apprehensive manner (worry, fretting, being afraid something bad will happen, and so on) activates the body’s stress response. The stress response causes a number of changes in the body to prepare it for immediate emergency action – to either fight or flee.

A part of the stress response changes involve changing how the brain functions. For example, the stress response causes the amygdala (the fear center of the brain) to become more active and the cortex (the rationalization areas of the brain) to become suppressed. This change in brain function can heighten the perception of danger and reduce our ability to rationalize.

The stress response causes this change so that we are aware of and able react to danger quickly rather than taking time to process information, which could endanger our survival. Remember, the stress response is designed to protect us when we’re in real danger. It’s primary job is to get us out of danger as quickly as possible.

Due to the change in brain functioning when the stress response is active, we can experience a heightened sense of danger but have a more difficult time rationalizing. Sometimes this change is enough to make us think we are about to lose our minds and go crazy. This is especially true the more anxious we are.

Fortunately, when the stress response ends, the body slowly makes its way back to normal functioning, which means the cortex resumes its normal functioning and the amygdala’s activity diminishes. This reversal reduces the perception of danger and allows us to think more clearly. This reversal usually brings an end to feeling like you are about to go crazy or lose your mind.

Another cause of feeling like you are about to lose your mind is persistently elevated stress. Persistently elevated stress also causes stress response changes, including those that affect how the brain functions. The difference, however, is that persistently elevated stress doesn’t ease off quickly. So, the feeling that you are about to go crazy or lose your mind can linger and seem to occur for no apparent reason.

Because this feeling can linger and seem to occur for no reason, it may seem like it is being caused by a medical or mental health problem. If you are a worrier, you then might misconstrue this symptom to mean there really is something wrong with your brain and/or mind, which can set off a high degree stress response that compounds the issue.

Believing you are about to lose your mind is a common catalyst to a panic attack, where the fear of losing your mind and the changes the stress response make fuel each other.

But even though the fear of going crazy can be frightening, it’s not an indication of a problem with your brain, mind, or sanity. It’s just another indication that your body is experiencing a stress response and/or of a body that’s overly stressed.

People who have been under a lot of stress often experience this symptom.”

That’s from http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-symptoms/fear-of-going-crazy.shtml and I found it very helpful.  It’s difficult to know what to do with stress, taking deep breaths is good.  Eating Moo Free is also good, listening to music, going for a walk.



What do you want?

It’s fascinating to find that the reason you want something is because other people told you that you want it.

Oddly enough, I’m talking about love.  Partnership, marriage, what have you.

Now, I am not a person who will do a thing just because I’m told to.  But they go about it in a much more cunning way than that.  They put it everywhere, for you to see.

Like so:

They put it in movies.  Now, how many movies can you think of where love didn’t solve all the problems?


Admittedly, some of them die…


And I haven’t actually seen this one:


And in Star Wars love didn’t solve all the problems.


But it is an incredibly recurring theme.

Gone With The Wind

And it’s just the same as advertising.  Companies will pay for people to look happy in a movie, drinking their drink.  Love is being marketed in the same way, and it makes us think we will be happy when we get it.


And we might not be!  Didn’t anyone else fall in love with the idea of drinking coffee when they saw it being adored and constantly consumed and depended upon in Gilmore Girls and Friends and well, shall we say, most tv and movies?  I know it made me think that must be the number one drink of awesomeness.


And then I drank it, and it tastes like burnt toast.


It’s just not necessarily for everyone, and that’s not a bad thing.  The bad thing is that you need to try coffee to know if you love it or hate it.  But you can’t try love and see if you hate it, because “true love” is what people seek, and so if you don’t like the first one, you just try again.


Another one is cigarettes.  That’s something else I thought was awesomely cool from seeing it on tv.  But in real life, smokers stink.  They aren’t sexy, within ten feet of you.  It is bad for their teeth and their lungs and it makes them inconvenient, it’s expensive and it makes you cough.  These are all things I worked out without even trying them.


So how about that?  Without even trying, why should I not even be interested in falling in love?


(Oh, and a side note, look how young we all were when the brain washing started?)

Why not fall in love?  For one thing it seems not to be so awesome all the time.

I see couples arguing here there and everywhere.


They don’t communicate well, they don’t tell each other what is wrong, they get mad at each other for stupid little reasons and they get on each others nerves.


And nobody ever seems to think, “hey, maybe love is not so cracked up as I thought it was?”  And I’m not saying love is bad.  Love is a thing the world needs.  I’m questioning COUPLING.  PARTNERSHIP.

And I’m questioning them as an across the board definitive life expectation.

As in:  in life you will learn to walk, learn to eat, watch movies, sit, and die.  Those are fairly sure-thing expectations.

If you said, you will definitely learn to ride a bike and speak fluent french, people may start to say, hold on, I might not want to do those things.

But love, is an expected definite, and if it is not achieved, it is felt to be a failure, a sadness, a miss.  And this is not about what other people think, or not just about that.  Mainly I’m talking about our indoctrination to believe these things.


You will not be alone if you don’t pair up.  You’re born with a family.  You make friends in every area of your life.  If you’re still lonely you can join friendship groups, you can go to the movies or volunteer and you will find people to talk to.


I personally like being alone.  I like time to myself.  I like reading, painting, drawing, writing, blogging.  If I had a partner I would have to compromise these things.  I would have to talk to him or her.  I would have to pay attention to them, do what they want to do, listen talk etcetera.


And I know that supposedly this is what you want to do when you fall in love.  But I’ve seen a lot of evidence to the contrary.  I have seen people who resent having to compromise what they want to do.  I’ve seen it create a lot of tension between partners.


If you are alone you can do what you want.  Eat what you want, when you want.  Wear what you want.  You don’t have to dress up to impress anyone, you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to go.


You are living your life.


So next time you’re watching movies, make sure they don’t manipulate your ideas of what to expect from life.  Because the grass isn’t greener on the other side.


They don’t make enough movies about finding yourself and being happy with yourself.  French Kiss is such a romantic film, and it’s funny and I love it, but it would be so much stronger if Meg and Kevin had just been friends.  She’d realised that she was better off without her awful fiancee and gone on with her life stronger, don’t you think?

And I also do really love that film,  I just think that it’s important to realise the theatre of it all.  We don’t watch the three musketeers and start believing our lives would be better if we had a sword on us all the time.  So why don’t we recognise the separation from reality when it comes to love?


It’s interesting to start to realise that you don’t know why you’re doing what you’re doing, or rather, that you do.

Think about it.