Tag Archives: reality

Chapter 10

“You know what I’m tired of?”

“I’ve a feeling you’re going to tell me.”

“I’m sick and tired of hearing about how people got a free copy of a book from the author?  Why the heck are they getting free stuff?  What is the world coming to?”

“It is a terrible thing.”

“I know it’s not a terrible thing, but why the heck didn’t I get born under the tree of free stuff?”

“Well, we all get free stuff sometimes.  The mail carrier keeps bringing you those free catalogues.”

“Everyone gets those.”

“That’s exactly my point.”

“Right.”

Leaf

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Leaf and twig,

and where am I?

What am I doing?

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What is everybody talking about?

And so what anyway.

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And if I could, and maybe I should?

But no, I won’t.

On principal, I will to nought,

because that’s what is required.

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I need to escape from all of these sirens,

the tangled web of the spiders,

who have trapped me,

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I will sit here and listen to the music,

and eventually death will come,

to take me away, to eternal something or other.

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You can try

I can’t win.

I doubt I can win,

very few people actually win.

But if you don’t play the game then you will definitely lose.

You have to take risks in life.

Even if they make your stomach curl up into a ball like a hibernating squirrel.

Risks are what keep the snowball rolling.

They make your life more interesting,

more happy,

more exciting.  If you spend the whole time worrying that your

parachute won’t open, then you’ll miss the whole thing.

You’ll spoil it for you and everyone else.

So suck it up.

You can do this.

And if the risk kicks you down the hill, we’ll be waiting there for you.  Always.

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More and more

The more I see of men, the less I want one.

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I will admit, I like to fantasise,  I like a good daydream with a vampire and a big fight, maybe a bank robbery, and some good kissing.

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In fantasy, boyfriends are awesome.

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But in real life, they seem to be pretty rubbish, even when they’re pretty good.

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In stories, even, they’re pretty rubbish.

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I just don’t get why partnership has stayed so popular in the modern world.

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What do you want?

It’s fascinating to find that the reason you want something is because other people told you that you want it.

Oddly enough, I’m talking about love.  Partnership, marriage, what have you.

Now, I am not a person who will do a thing just because I’m told to.  But they go about it in a much more cunning way than that.  They put it everywhere, for you to see.

Like so:

They put it in movies.  Now, how many movies can you think of where love didn’t solve all the problems?

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Admittedly, some of them die…

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And I haven’t actually seen this one:

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And in Star Wars love didn’t solve all the problems.

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But it is an incredibly recurring theme.

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And it’s just the same as advertising.  Companies will pay for people to look happy in a movie, drinking their drink.  Love is being marketed in the same way, and it makes us think we will be happy when we get it.

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And we might not be!  Didn’t anyone else fall in love with the idea of drinking coffee when they saw it being adored and constantly consumed and depended upon in Gilmore Girls and Friends and well, shall we say, most tv and movies?  I know it made me think that must be the number one drink of awesomeness.

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And then I drank it, and it tastes like burnt toast.

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It’s just not necessarily for everyone, and that’s not a bad thing.  The bad thing is that you need to try coffee to know if you love it or hate it.  But you can’t try love and see if you hate it, because “true love” is what people seek, and so if you don’t like the first one, you just try again.

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Another one is cigarettes.  That’s something else I thought was awesomely cool from seeing it on tv.  But in real life, smokers stink.  They aren’t sexy, within ten feet of you.  It is bad for their teeth and their lungs and it makes them inconvenient, it’s expensive and it makes you cough.  These are all things I worked out without even trying them.

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So how about that?  Without even trying, why should I not even be interested in falling in love?

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(Oh, and a side note, look how young we all were when the brain washing started?)

Why not fall in love?  For one thing it seems not to be so awesome all the time.

I see couples arguing here there and everywhere.

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They don’t communicate well, they don’t tell each other what is wrong, they get mad at each other for stupid little reasons and they get on each others nerves.

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And nobody ever seems to think, “hey, maybe love is not so cracked up as I thought it was?”  And I’m not saying love is bad.  Love is a thing the world needs.  I’m questioning COUPLING.  PARTNERSHIP.

And I’m questioning them as an across the board definitive life expectation.

As in:  in life you will learn to walk, learn to eat, watch movies, sit, and die.  Those are fairly sure-thing expectations.

If you said, you will definitely learn to ride a bike and speak fluent french, people may start to say, hold on, I might not want to do those things.

But love, is an expected definite, and if it is not achieved, it is felt to be a failure, a sadness, a miss.  And this is not about what other people think, or not just about that.  Mainly I’m talking about our indoctrination to believe these things.

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You will not be alone if you don’t pair up.  You’re born with a family.  You make friends in every area of your life.  If you’re still lonely you can join friendship groups, you can go to the movies or volunteer and you will find people to talk to.

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I personally like being alone.  I like time to myself.  I like reading, painting, drawing, writing, blogging.  If I had a partner I would have to compromise these things.  I would have to talk to him or her.  I would have to pay attention to them, do what they want to do, listen talk etcetera.

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And I know that supposedly this is what you want to do when you fall in love.  But I’ve seen a lot of evidence to the contrary.  I have seen people who resent having to compromise what they want to do.  I’ve seen it create a lot of tension between partners.

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If you are alone you can do what you want.  Eat what you want, when you want.  Wear what you want.  You don’t have to dress up to impress anyone, you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to go.

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You are living your life.

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So next time you’re watching movies, make sure they don’t manipulate your ideas of what to expect from life.  Because the grass isn’t greener on the other side.

 

They don’t make enough movies about finding yourself and being happy with yourself.  French Kiss is such a romantic film, and it’s funny and I love it, but it would be so much stronger if Meg and Kevin had just been friends.  She’d realised that she was better off without her awful fiancee and gone on with her life stronger, don’t you think?

And I also do really love that film,  I just think that it’s important to realise the theatre of it all.  We don’t watch the three musketeers and start believing our lives would be better if we had a sword on us all the time.  So why don’t we recognise the separation from reality when it comes to love?

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It’s interesting to start to realise that you don’t know why you’re doing what you’re doing, or rather, that you do.

Think about it.

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If it doesn’t happen, it’s because it wasn’t supposed to happen

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by things.  It’s easy to start to worry.  But the best thing to do is to realise that everything that is meant to happen always happens.

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So if you missed the bus, it’s cos you were never supposed to catch it.

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If you don’t get the job, it’s because you were meant to get a different job, or because you’re supposed to keep your own job, or because in three months you’re going to meet the love of your life on the way to a different job interview which you would never be going to if you got that job.

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Maybe, just maybe, (and definitely) the things that happen are supposed to happen.  We think we know what we want or need, but really, we don’t.  When we were six all we wanted was to eat sweets and ride the merry go round, but that would have proven to be inadvisable before long.  Just because we don’t get what we want, doesn’t mean we won’t get what we need.  And maybe we will get what we want, if we happen to want what we need.

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“Everything that happens is exactly what is supposed to happen.”

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This post is about accepting reality in order to reduce stress about the future.  By accepting any outcome, you choose to over come what ever happens, and find happiness in it.  What ever happens, you will always get back up, brush yourself off, and carry on.  It’s all good.

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